@ life lived

Rookie to Oblivion :)

2012-01-23T04:01:00.001-08:00

This is the most important chapter in his life. Here it takes an odd turn.

In this chapter he will learn how to survive. Earlier he used to escape but now he is taking everything head on, and still surviving. It hits you bad, but then all you have to do is to be a little sport.

The Purchase Order is getting replaced by Work Orders, and JUKI by JCB’s. Rest is all same.

A day in his life:

He wakes up whenever he wishes to. But usually it’s around 7 am. Old habits die hard. Some random songs are played, yes he has good playlists now, and today it started with ‘Fir Se Ud Chala’ and ‘Kun Faaya Kun’. Then he goes for a stroll. Smoke up a bit, come back and finish daily routine. Eats a little and goes to his books for few hours. Have lunch around 2 pm. Yeah that 2 pm when he gets the same old urge to call. Then he takes a nap. By the time he wakes up it’s evening and he takes out his car, wallet, smoke and go for a drive around. Shopping, smoking and driving. Comes back late and the dinner is ready. Here comes the high point of his day and he pulls out some of the finest scotch mankind ever drank and drinks till he drops dead.

Next morning he is not able to recognize himself in mirror, I never knew this guy. Never ever imagined him. He is someone I despise. He is someone I hate from my guts. He is a drunkard junkie. He is one failed idea, he is a hopeless romantic, he is his own poison. He is his own end, his own destruction. He is his own murderer. He has killed himself along with all his dreams.

Someday all of this will end and he will be closest to the peace he was looking for and sadly enough that peace has eluded him till date. He is on a one way road to destruction, there is no going back and there is no turning around because whenever he turns around he looks into the mess called ‘life’. There are demons from his past which haunt him in darkest of the night. That eerie silence of the night creeps into him and he does not speak even a word.

He is a sculpted mass of bone and muscle held together with a faint hope of happiness at the end of the road. The happiness you get when all the worries are left behind and you fade into the oblivion. The rookie started it on a happy note and screwed up everything which came in his life and ended up here as a lost puppy. Never imagined a life like this. I can’t imagine any future even if I try my best. There is only one ultimate and that ultimate is called ‘end’.

Ode To The End Of Time...

2012-01-16T13:07:00.000-08:00

As I sit here
At the end of time
Reflecting back
On the days passed by
Begin to write

Of the open sky
Of all the times
The sun shined bright
And the full moon nights
Made me feel
Like a bird, so high

Like a bird, so high
And all the love
Filled my life
Ever elusive smile

And I sit here
To bid goodbye
To bid goodbye
To the year which dies

I weep for you
Those tears of joy
As I rejoice
All the times, when you stood by
When no one else, would even try

And now you leave
At the end of time
I weep for you
And I wait for you
I wait for you, to rise again

Rise again
And reign again
Reign again
With the open sky
With the bright sunshine
With the full moon night

Lift me up and help me fly
Help me seek, that elusive smile.

I know it’s not within my might
To write for you or even try
Not good with words
Not good with rhyme
But I just want to bid goodbye

And write this ode
And then rejoice
And wait for you

To rise again
To reign again
As I sit here
At the end of time.

Someday...

2012-01-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

We always think and dream about that elusive someday. That 'someday' when our dreams will come true.
Like we say 'someday I will find a purpose to this life' or 'someday I will die'. What will you do when that 'someday' actually comes knocking to your door? Then you think; the journey to this day called 'someday' was worth it or not. For me there were a lot many some days; and I laugh out loud when I think about them, for they never came. Your 'someday' should be yours, only if no-one else is attached to that then there is a probability of living that 'someday'.

Someday I will get love of my life and will be happy ever after.

So what happens that you never get love of your life and then you are not happy ever after. It's a deal-breaker, heart-breaker and what not. So your 'someday' should be irrespective of people around you for they are looking for something you are not. Or someday they just want to be stinking rich, successful and well settled. And you thought that someday they will love to be just with you. So in a way you were going to fuck yourself someday. And this self-fucking 'someday' was not your list at all. Funny, huh!

I used to laugh on people who used to say that they are depressed or something. I used to think so low of them, used to term them as weaklings. But then time came when I was myself going to doctors. So a someday came which I dreaded. I still get that sinking feeling in my heart, same as you feel when your loved ones die. Will never be able to get over it. All this booze, dope and smoke is my medication for that depression.

No offense to my current girl. But I don't see any future in anything, Mayan calender says the world will end this year. And I will be happy if it does. I just hate the idea of having a plan in life, I can't tell which direction I will start tomorrow and to think about future is a big joke to me now. I remember that I was at my happiest best when I was like this last time, then I fell in love and ruined it all by thinking about a beautiful 'someday'.

Now I go far away from your perception of me, I want this world to forget me and shed no tears because I was never theirs to be. I am one self obsessed alpha male. I am just me. It's only about me. It was always about me, because I suck at taking care of others.

Knots of my life and thoughts are preventing me from being rational and comprehensible over here. So I should sign off for a long time now!!

ride to oblivion

2011-12-05T00:05:00.000-08:00

It is in my blood. I can't put up at one place for long. Last time I did was a real heart-breaker. So I ride once again.

Need to ride my life out.

I loved this city, loved it with all the commitment for last four years. All she gave me is bitter-sweet memories, got attached to lot many things and a lot many people. I will never be able to break this attachment. They are for keeps.

For a change I am cutting off all of these, shutting myself down from world. For I know there are dreams to be realized. And for that I need all of 'me', no distraction.

Otherwise if I would ever meet 'me', I would probably hate myself for being just a dreamer.

Tata...

The pain of being me!

2011-11-27T08:37:00.000-08:00

~smirk~

So I look happy now. Do I? Yeah I do look happy now.

But then you can never measure the profanity for a good life I have now...

Crossroads

2011-08-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

I hate crossroads!

You keep standing there wondering where to go from here.

each direction can be your destination and dreams of their own...

: : : : : : : : eeney meeney miney moe
: : : : : : : : catch a tiger by its toe
: : : : : : : : if he hollers let him go
: : : : : : : : eeney meeney miney moe

So fucking hate crossroads.....

Music or Lyrics

2011-06-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

So finally I am finding contemporary Music good for health these days, still last night while listening to one of the classy ones, got confused.. whether it's music or lyrics which I like the most..

Case in room:

'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd:

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,

blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,

year after year,Running over the same old ground.

What have you found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

A Routine like no other Routine ever...

2011-05-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

Now this is heights of being stoned.

What happened today!

Let me go back to previous night. I don't remember much, but I was on phone for a very long time, talking gibberish, talking what not, talking almost everything under the sun. And then I slept around 4-5 in the morning. Woke up at 8:45 am, took shower, then brushed my hairs and teeth in record time, went to office, barged late into the marketing meeting. suddenly in the meeting my phone rang. I woke up. And I was in my room, it was freaking 11 am and there were 13 miss calls from office, clients, colleagues, and friends who have Saturdays off.(lucky bastards). I drove to office as if my transformer bike was a sports bike. I drove too fast and little more fast to reach office in just 15 minutes.

Now that I had lost the plot for the day, till lunch I was just trying to grasp things, what all I missed. After lunch my MD made me realize what all I missed this whole week. Then I made him realize that a little more pressure and he will miss a good MM. So the game continued till now. And now I have some free time to jot down crap on this page after ages.

At times like these I realize, how much things changed for me in last one and half year. With a dream in my eyes I started a firm which now, just covers my basic expenses. And then I have this job, which is threatening my blood pressure levels. And then this perfect set of loser friends who keep me stoned almost all the free time I have.

Things don't hurt now. May be this is one good thing which happened to me. May be this was 'the lesson of my life'. May be this taught me to think straight, to focus on important things.

Thanks for this routine life. I would have never been the guy I am today, without you. Thanks to you.

Cheers...

(Well I just remembered that It's Saturday and it's Disco time today)

PS-PJ::::::::: The 'D' in ":D" comes from Disco... :::::::::::

at times like this

2011-02-15T04:02:00.001-08:00

At times like these, we just look back and see the ruins of what’s left of past life. People, relationships, friends and a lot more just falling apart. And then we just look at what life has thrown at us for future. Looks good but aint good. You don’t get that satisfaction; you miss that zeal of having that thing first time. People say this phrase about ‘life coming to a full circle’. Trust me guys it never does, the circle never is completed. There is no going back. You just keep running, what’s left is left, what’s broken or lost is gone forever. Sooner you realize better it is.

You just move on because you have no other option. You see your loved ones used for fun like a toy. But you can’t explain this to them. You yourself start getting used like one, but still you don’t get it. It’s better to live in a state of ignorance. Some great guy said ‘ignorance is bliss’. He was right.

You get everything you ever wanted badly, but then you miss the things you had and lost. Nothing new can replace them. You lose the sense of direction. You miss the destination by getting lost on the way itself.

Dancing With Demons!

2011-01-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

Money

Friends

Life

Perfection

Drugs

Laughter

Travel

People

Love

Pain

You

Them

This part of his life is called ‘dancing with the demons’. In this part he just goes out in the dark and dance, when he dances he knows that it’s the darkest of him. He just lets go the bond which help him rooted and attached to the good. He just loses it because somewhere far beneath and inside the ‘me’ is dark and wrong itself. He wants to breathe in some fresh air not polluted by the ‘good’ things in life.

Just now he got that feeling, while thinking of good and bad. He just realized that it will be much easier to just let all this go. He just has to get himself into that shell again. No one can see him, no one can hear him, doesn’t want to be seen and neither wanted to be heard ever.

Little shuffle in his priority list wont hurt anyone.

He has become a satellite, just revolving around with his dancing shoes on. Come on, that’s not fair. There must be something beyond reach. Stuck in a moment, and you just keep staring on it with all the longing. Just to the point where your eyes starts hurting so much that you just stop, wipe those eyes and start travelling again.

Sometimes he wakes up, and sees that a lot of things which were there, are not there anymore, and he starts missing those things. Maybe he himself is not at the right place. But then he is already awake and has lots to do to make a kill. To kill time is the best thing he learnt in last few years. Puff away all the insecurities and frustration. Get stoned and then think about nothing as if no one matters any more. Things which matter are just at hands reach. Pick up his phone and get all the ego massage he wants. It’s pretty easy this way.

To feel loved, wanted, envied, paid for has become his own version of ‘way of life’.

Try acid someday, half a stamp. It’s more than enough to enlighten you. Or try coke, few lines and you are there with gods looking down upon lesser mortals. Be blessed that weed is natural and cheap. Get freaking up and come down hard to get up again. Dance all the while, just let it go. Let go all the fear of losing someone you love. Don’t listen to stupid lyrics just listen to the music, see it, watch it, feel it closely as the beats take the frequency up and down, move with that, move your thoughts with it. Just don’t die of OD :P

Just get wasted, used and thrown out of everyone’s life, like a garbage bag, full of things they don’t want. Just do it for the fun which everyone will get out of it, including you. Strip to nothing and let them see the real you with all the perfection and imperfection. Let them laugh at you, let them use you, let them tear you; let them split you into many.

Dream of that perfect future you used to dream before, don’t miss anything. Dream and get hurt. Bleed yourself. Don’t move on. Stick to those memories. Let them drive you to oblivion. Let them make you rich, let them make you even more powerful, let them make you more lonely.

Just let it happen!

Just live!

Road Trip 101..(being hitchhiker)

2010-11-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hi Sweets,

Tomorrow I start a journey into unknown. Its risky and it runs through the heart and soul of India's Naxal region. Three shirts, three jeans, two tees, pair of socks, some undergarments and one towel. Mobiles switched off and all these belongings packed into one small back pack. a little money to survive the odds. Some identification papers. Print out of route map. A pen and a small notebook.

One thing I know for sure that its going to be fun. at least for me. Just want to let you know that I was never a bad guy. I really tried hard to be accepted as I am, but then I failed you, failed myself.

I hope that I make it to Bangalore ASAP.

Love
Abhi.

Life is top gear...

2010-10-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

Think I just needed a kick on my ass to plunge into something deep. The depth was just too much, gave me a lot of time before I hit the bottom. In that time I tried to grab just anything which came into my way, bruised my hands. Got hold of a few people. but they did not realise that I was falling. Life came a full circle in that time, flashbacks from the past showed me how wrong I was.

Everything is justified, I hit you and you hit back, revenge was the word. knowingly or unknowingly you did just the same. It feels bad and hurts like hell if you unconditionally love someone. but all said and done, time is right to move on.

I was getting alienated from a lot of people around me, have put on that bloody game face and tried to act social. tried to be a better friend, better son, better brother, better lover. but all in vain.

I am the same alien to them as they are to me. cant help it, them or myself.

Misunderstood

2010-08-13T03:11:00.000-07:00

The ending was inevitable. It was destined to die a romantic death. And it went on ahead for a long time. The death was prolonged; the pain seemed to be stretched to eternity. Every second of having you by my side and still not having you with me meant more pain. Last night’s discussion were very casual, in real life of no importance but there was something going in our mind for a long time. There is a ‘problem’.

Is there a solution to this problem? And if it’s there then whose responsibility is to find it? If it’s mine then I have no solution. I am very clueless about this whole episode. And lo! we thought everything is going the just the way it should go. That way was to its own death.

Given the circumstances and our own irrationality should we call it quits. ‘Cold turkey’. But then personally I don’t like this option. It will mean that I fucked up my life royally for past two and half year and the prime of my youth were wasted in pursuit of an ever evasive satisfaction of having someone in your life worth having. May be I am wrong, most of the time I was wrong for good of my own. I can’t discuss any of it with anyone including you, you have no idea what is going through my mind. And I have no idea about what I am gonna do.

Last Sem Syndrome

2010-01-06T03:50:00.001-08:00

Introduction:

Strange customs of different institutions! We had one at NIFT. I would like to call it ‘Last SemeSyndrome’. So it happens to be the most unwanted/wanted syndrome at our college across different centers. This ‘Syndrome’ is seen irrespective of passing out year. I have seen this in my grand seniors, super seniors, seniors, my batch, my junior batch and my super junior batch (my girl happens to be from this batch). Now after so much of insight it was hard to ignore this syndrome. It took over my good friends, not so good friends, and other people (aam junta of NIFT). I could not stop myself from generalizing it and giving it a fancy name.

Explanation:

Couples break up after they enter the last leg of their not so wonderful and illustrious college life. If I must confess, then I broke up finally with 3 girls, with whom I was dragging my relationships of few years and few months in one case. It’s sad but true. Trust me folks something really happens. It’s like some unwritten rule of our college life.

The Big Bloody Why?

Now the big question why I am discussing this now after almost one and half year of passing out. Because if you guys have noticed; my girl is in her last semester and I am pretty shocked that the syndrome has started showing its ugly side into my life as well. It will be sad as I have updated my relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ a couple of weeks ago.

Reason:

This is an open topic. The reasons can’t be a singular entity. It may be a combination of different elements behaving in a pre-determined way.

Will continue writing at night….

Reports

2010-01-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

Year 2010..

Generating Reports:

Report to Mom:

I am good, eating well, taking enough rest, no bad habits, no drinking, no smoking. I drive slowly and follow traffic rules. I am saving money too. No girlfriend.

Report to Dad:

I am good, going to gym, playing cricket and badminton daily. Working hard, have come up with new ideas of marketing for my company. Will try to expand business to our hometown, so that we may party together at times. No hard drinks only beers on some weekends. No long drives (long means more than 500 Kms in a day).

Report to Friends:

I am super good. Work seems fine. No boss. Come to Bangalore, we will party like anything. Trying to get eight pack abs by mid year. And cutting down on smoke. Sourced good weed here. Finished full bottle of rum in 3 hour sitting. Babes’ influx in Kormangala and BTM layout on all time high. Will drive to Gokarna January end.

Report to Girlfriend:

I love you; I miss you most of the times. Your parents have rocked my New Year celebrations. No dope, Left smoking and binge drinking. Trying to spare time from work and sports. Do you still have Counter Strike Source on your system?

Report to Self:

You are just the same lame excuse you were last year, just don’t try to change things ‘coz you can’t. Get focused on your company and save some money.

PS:

Just don’t take it seriously guys; it was for the fun part of New Year’s resolution.
I am a manipulative bugger.

A lot like dream (c)

2009-06-25T03:54:00.001-07:00

Recently I have been a little good in life. I am not drinking too much. I have started hating food(though back in my mind I regret this). I am losing weight. My debts are almost paid off. My director(of the company I work in) wants me to handle Corporate Sales Division. I am making extra money apart from my regular salary.

You know what: My good times come back to me when I just need it. And why do I need my 'good times' back is another reason to celebrate. But lets keep that out of this equation.

9th wonder

2009-06-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

Just a few minutes back my room mate told me that if I sit silently for a few moment without doing any mischief then it will be the world's 9th wonder, 8th being me myself.

He is my roommate and a friend for more than a decade. He knows better, still I wonder what happened to me. I always wanted be that serious guy sitting on the first bench. But as the luck would have had it, I never succeeded.

If due to some reason I slipped into the silent mode then guys at college and school used to ask, 'what's wrong Abhi?'

duh!

Still I managed to retain all my friends till date. I have never broken off with any of my friend till now.

There are some issues I need to sort out right away:

1. I am not serious towards my work(as told to me by some one not from my office)

2. I am getting fat and ugly.

3. I am wasting my time doing nothing.

4. I am not taking my life seriously.

5. I am smoking too much.

6. I am drinking too much.

7. I am using foul language too much.

PS: All said by the same person.

half drunk and half not !

2009-04-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

This is the best time when I can analyse the events of my current life without being prejudiced against or in favour of anyone.

So here I am, jotting down in tecnical terms excerpts from my life in recent times.

I am living a contemporary life with all the ingredients in place. So fucking fulfilling that I have lost the count of the fucking times I have made mistakes in past. But with a vow to not repeat them. The most bizzare moment came when one fine morning I started coughing blood. It fucking freaked me and all the possible causes started ringing. But then it suddenly stopped as it started, hence no need to pay the fucking bill at some fucking hospital. I am frustrated by the system we live by. I am not saying'living in' - :Point noted:

And on the top of it I am frust with the fucking job I have. I had some very superior sense of belongingness but then I just snapped out from the dream-life I was sleeping into. The sense is gone and now its just another part of my daily routine. just like you brush your teeth and unload the shit.

story of a FROG ..

2009-03-17T02:00:00.001-07:00

Quoted Text:

"U'll have to kiss a few frogs before u meet ur Prince Charming!!!”

Story:

Once upon a time there was this little frog that just got into an institution with humans. He tried not being a frog anymore, but he was a stupid little ugly frog so no-one liked him. He was sad at this situation. There he saw a lovely Princess and fell in love for the first time. As he was that frog and the lady being Princess, destiny took its turn and our frog left that institution and went to another one and then another one. The Princess went to a grooming school befitted only to the royalty. Until that time our little frog learnt how to be a human. Being human was a good thing and he was happy. People loved him. But he never forgot that Princess. He nurtured a dream that one day he will be a human in and out and then he will go to Princess and propose her.

Then a time came and all got over all of a sudden..

happies ending !

PS:

This frog is sorry to be a frog !

beer and brain :)

2009-03-05T21:47:00.000-08:00

Well you see, it's like this . . .

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, is why you always feel smarter after a few beer.

Best Break-Up line I ever heard.

2009-02-18T01:16:00.000-08:00

Quoted text:

"first reason is i think u aren't serious about this whole issue

second is i have lost the trust that i took pains to build

third is i don't think u can change

fourth is i want both of us to be happy"

PS: ??

new year resolution !

2009-01-02T01:51:00.000-08:00

Its tough to find a new year resolution for the sake of it. Coz i know in the first place that I am not going to be honest with it. For a guy like me who just dont gives a fuck to anything can't be that resolution guy.

Still against my own wishes and for the wishes of others I have made a list of things to do in 2009:

1. Complete atleast the General Studies for UPSC

2. Get lighter by five kilos.

3. You cant quit smoking so reduce on it.

4. Take this Guitar thing seriously.

5. Get a life. (visit places which appeal to you like Gokarna, Hampi - both for baba - jai ho )

new year that was 2008

2009-01-02T00:32:00.000-08:00

I woke up on 1st January, 2008 with a few things on my mind. A 'Bucket List' of sort. That was my last semester at NIFT and I was not sure of anything in my life then. My placements were coming up. My Grad Pro (Graduation Project) was in mess. My personal life fucked up as ever. Still there was this hope that I will end this year with some happiness around me.

Mid-January:

Been to Mumbai (Navy Nagar once again after a long time)

Walked out of placements

Got a job.

Got my Grad Pro fixed.

Came to Bangalore.

Spent a lot of money.

February:

Joined my new company.

Started the great project. :P

Spent a lot of money.

Got a place to live in.

March:

Went home for Holi.

Went to Hyderabad for Mid-Sems

Got screwed up for Project @ College

April:

I dont remember a shit about this month.

May:

Went back to Hyderabad for End-Term Jury.

Passed out with Absolute Grades (10 out of 10)

Got Most Innovative Grad pro Award (First time ever I got any recognition in my acedemics)

Went home.

June:

Started my full time job.

Broke up with girls.

Patched up with one.

July:

Got frustrated by this job-life.

August:

Switched to a tiny (rather miniscule company)

Was happy again.

September:

Life was good.

Spent a lot of money.

October:

Got a new Condo in Bangalore

Reached New Delhi for Convocation.

Spent a lot of money.

November:

It passed out quickly.

Spent a lot of money.

December:

Dad and Mom paid a visit for the first time in my life.

Spent a lot of money.

..........................contd.........................

n I m talkin

2008-12-19T00:40:00.000-08:00

Of all the intermittent liaisons,

I have in my life,

The one which is the purest,

Is the one i have with myself.

Reason specified for this is the fact that I am at war with myself.

I don't know why but there are fallacies in my way of thinking or the way of my conduct, at the end of the day I sleep with a grudge that I could not make it a better day, a better life.

Riding along the wave made by the sudden gushes of luck. Learnt how to make out when the luck is by my side and how to exploit it. Someday I'll run out of it. That day there will be no wave. Now the question is do I really want to go towards the shore or anchor myself in the middle of the ocean.

...contd...

time of my life

2008-12-18T00:09:00.000-08:00

Its sad !

I have fever, I am defunct right now.

just like that, I think

2008-11-17T02:31:00.000-08:00

I am so completely judged and understood by 'the people' that I can't even exercise my right to say 'mis-judged' and 'mis-understood'... And certainly I am not enjoying it.

PS:

Need to be with mself for some time, or else I will do something funny.

A Good Day's Work..

2008-09-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

The purpose behind this writing habit is not my habit but this realization that I can express myself without any interruption.

There is this fact file which I want you guys to know:

I am an extrovert person most time of the day.
And I love it.
When I am talking I need people to pay attention.
And, if I get slightest hint that they are not paying attention then I stop with sarcasm. Also I talk a lot about things which are of no importance. So I assume that I talk to bore people around me, so that one day they realize that they bore me with their sheer presence. It sucks to have boring people around and to make the matter worse for them I speak and I speak a lot.

Someone said in some movie about something that “Life is a box full of chocolate”. And I wonder if my life was a box full of ‘what’? Toys, dreams, day-dreams, girls, report cards, cigarette, chicken, I mean whatever it was filled with. It was full of something or the other. Who gives a rat’s ass to that?

Today I was thinking about this city.

Bangalore is not a city. It’s an industry at its best diversification. I see trucks carrying load, loads of people being carried away in cabs, buses, motor bikes etc. everyone is going somewhere. Software people work for other industries, I make clothes for these geeks, and then I earn profit and keep it in a bank running on their software. And those geeks keep their money in that bank too and then I make garments for those bankers too. Everyone is working for everyone, and I am working for everyone, putting their identity on their chest or sleeve or both (I am into customized apparel business).

At times I get great ideas and huge inspiration to write about something and then at the same time something happens, like getting a new work load or some good friend coming up online and I give a sacrifice. I don’t write. Other time I am on my way to somewhere and this chain of event entices my taste bud for writing but I don’t have any tool for that. (Trust me guys I am never going to fall for mobile blogging)

So here my blog is. A collection of rare permutation and combination (add some advance probability to that), when I have this urge, inspiration from nothingness of my life, and a computer, net connection, electricity, free time, free mind, good day at office, nice dinner, few good calls, no alcohol, dark room, silent night, my roommates not watching porn, comfortable chair, Simon and Garfunkel playing some classic rock for me. Almost everything is in favor.

Time to sleep.

Ps:
Today I was so happy in morning, I woke up just like I used to in school time. Eyes shut, preparing myself for the day in a trance, brushing, combing, bathing all in a trance.

Weighty Issues :)

2008-08-30T01:47:00.000-07:00

I am not a fat guy by any means, but when I came to Bangalore then my weight started rocketing from sub-65 kg to 70+ kgs. Then in between I made two trips back home that added another few kilos. So when it seemed that I’ll cross that dreaded 80-mark (standing at 175 cms) then the alarm went off. I started keeping some control on my food habits. The reason why it started upscale in the first place is- I was studying down south for last four years eating all that canteen and bahar ka khana and with a limited budget. Then when we came to Bangalore we had ample money, a cook from Bihar and lots of reason to become lethargic. So we started gluttony. And I became a little over weight. Now and then it keeps coming back to my mind. I have reduced my self to 72 kg and I am trying get near the lean body mass. Happy me!

TARGET: again a 65 kg guy. ;)

ps:
I don't want to wake up early.
I don't want to go to gym.
I don't want to go for swimming.
I don't want to do yoga (hail baba)
I don't want to do anything after the office hours.
I love sleeping.
I love eating good food.
I need help (Loooser)

Dated: 27th of Sept. 2008 AD

Weight: 70.5 kg

Mental condition: Happy as ever (lazy as ever)

Why do dogs cross the road?

2008-08-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

This question started haunting me after last Saturday. That night I was returning from a certain place ‘X’ and with a girl ‘Y’. The stretch of road is known as ring road. Usually ring roads are supposed to be like a ring but this ring has been mutilated badly to suit well the land sharks in Bangalore. The bike was at full throttle. And suddenly I spotted a petite dog some 100 feet away crossing the road. The thing with the dogs is, they are very shy and indecisive when it comes to crossing the road. That dog would have crossed it without a scratch but suddenly in the middle of its march towards the other side he decided to go back, the scene we see when Indian batsmen try to take quick single run and mess up in the middle. And they get out most of the time. So in this cross-or-not-to-cross or vice versa scene my bike travelled that 100 meters and the dog somehow missed my front wheel by inches. He was hit by my leg guard. All this time I tried not to be a ‘dog’ and I kept my grip tight on handle bar. Swaying either way was not going to change the direction of the dog. Yes, I applied my front disc brake and rear brake in progressive combination. So at the time of impact my speed was near 40-50 kmph range. I saved my bike (first), my girl, my ‘self’ and the dog too. One other interesting fact the trajectory you follow and the dog follows after seeing each other is going to cross at some point of time in all three dimensions at the same time. And eventually you both will be there too with your trajectory colliding.

But the question hangs there. Before miss ‘Y’ blogs anything about this I want to share it with my readers. Why do dogs need to cross the road?

1. They don’t belong to either side of the road.

2. They are not blind enough to see the traffic.

3. They don’t have any home at either side.

4. They can shit at any side of the road.

5. They cant get much to eat at either side of the road.

6. May be their bitches or dogs are at other side. But they are not so social.

Etc.

I am living with my senior and one interesting incident happened with him too. He and his friend were going somewhere after a booze party. There was a dog again in the middle of the road. But that dog was drunk too. He was taking his shit out in the middle of the road. We all know how a dog shits. So my senior who was the pillion rider saw the shit and the dog or whatever first. He told his driver mate like a proper wing-man in World Rally Championship that there is this dog unloading his shit in middle of the road. So his friend rallied towards the dog with a war cry and they hit the dog and the road at the same time. Afterwards my senior was explaining this event to me. He said if the dog is left and tail right, then he will go left. And if his head to the right and the tail left, then he will go right. But he was heading in the same direction they were heading. So he moved straight and they hit the dog from behind.

Funny planet.

ps: whenever you see a dog on road don't try to evade it. anyway you are going to hit it.

the same applies to the ladies driving any vehicle, or crossing the road.

the button !

2008-04-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

The art of the artist never comes out from his head or hand, the motor functions are just the associates, actually it comes from his (rotten) soul :P . So here is a creation by my roomie, on pre-holi night. We were too drunk, may be that's why I agreed to be his drawing board. Thank god, at that time he was not having a permanent tattoo machine. :D

ps:

NEVER GET TOO DRUNK

AND IF YOU DO, STAY AWAY FROM ARTISTS.

ARTISTS ARE NOT ALWAYS ARTISTIC, AT TIMES THEY ARE DRUNK TOO :D